The reasons (or excuses) why I am not employed in tech

7th July 2024

This is another one of those blog posts that I have been meaning to write for a long time and one that I have often thought about the answer.

I’ve been messing around and building websites as a hobby for a few years now. So, you might think I should be good at it and skilled enough to apply for jobs or even be working in tech by now, right?

Well, that was kind of how things were panning out. But, over time and due to circumstances, my goals and drive have changed since I began to learn some HTML in September 2021.

I will be honest in this blog post and state my reasons - or even excuses - why I have not taken the plunge and changed career and pushed on and learned more.

When I started learning HTML & CSS a few years ago, I wasn't driven by the idea of making a career out of it or becoming employed in tech. Honestly, I didn't know much about the industry back then. My focus was on my own project and I simply wanted to build a website for it. That was my sole aim.

Over the next few months, I really fell in love with what I was learning and doing. I began to dream of pastures new and the idea that I could earn some money from this skill or even work in this industry began to surface.

The first tech-related job I started to dream about was as an email developer. As I progressed, the dream moved on to becoming a web developer, then a fully-fledged freelancer and finally it ended as being a digital nomad.

Those nine months of my diary where I documented my journey were quite exhausting. I had put a lot of pressure on myself and I kept to a very strict regime of learning everyday. I had a constant feeling of guilt if I wasted any time or I didn’t reach an unofficial target of a daily minimum study time.

In the end, I felt quite burned out and I had run out of gas. I had achieved what I set out to do and I was happy with the results and so glad I pushed myself - but I needed a break. I didn’t want to sit in front of a laptop and I didn’t want to see any HTML, CSS or JavaScript for a while. That break didn’t last long, though, as it was only a matter of weeks before I felt the call to go back.

The exhaustion didn't only come from my desire to learn and study everyday. The tough part was all the other responsibilities around me. All the things I am responsible for; the duties I am required to do and under no circumstance could I neglect.

I tried to make things easier for myself by clearing my schedule and simplifying my life without neglecting any of my duties. In those nine months, I made the most of this window of opportunity.

My life then transitioned into one of those hectic phases that occur every so often. I was still able to mess around with web development and I was very thankful that I now had a hobby which is portable. I was also thankful that this hobby acted as a distraction and took my mind off of things.

This prompted me to rethink and reassess my position regarding my studies and where I was heading. I felt I hadn’t progressed and learned as much in the following few years as I had in those nine months of the diary.

I was unable to devote the same amount of time and energy that was needed to push on and move to the next step. Most importantly, the continuity wasn't there. This affected my ability to retain information through consistent exposure. The old adage holds true: if you don't use it, you lose it.

I came to a few realisations: Firstly, I realised that I probably wasn’t good enough to be a web developer and my knowledge wasn’t as extensive as it should be. I know that I shouldn’t have done this but I compared myself to someone I follow on Instagram. This person is half my age and they started their learning journey around the same time as I did.

I know that this was wrong to compare myself to someone else but I couldn't help it. As a parent, I always told the parents of younger children to not compare their child to much to other children. Children develop at their own speed and skills are learned and refined at different times. This doesn’t mean that this is a concern, it’s just they all do things in their own time and at their own speed. I should have listened to what I preach.

Anyway, going back to my point; this person started on their journey roughly around the same time as myself. But, their skill set and portfolio consisted of a few languages, a few frameworks of CSS and JavaScript and they were full stack. I on the other hand was comfortable with CSS and still struggling to get a grasp on front end JavaScript.

I wasn’t conceding defeat but I am a realist and so I took a step back to reassess things. With my current ability, skill set and my energy levels and time constants - was I in a position to be able to make the jump into a full time developer’s role? I understand that joining a tech workspace would involve a steep learning curve and one that would require me to dedicate extra time outside of work to learn and solve problems in order to keep up.

I’ve learned in my adult life that if you really want something, then you will need to go above and beyond and make sacrifices in order to accomplish it. Usually, this comes in the form of giving up the luxury of spare time to play catch up and keep your head above water. As I have previously said, the tech industry is performance based and if you cannot perform - then that's it. Companies cannot afford to carry passengers and employees that cannot do the job properly.

I came to the conclusion that I was not ready. I wasn’t good enough and knowledgeable enough. But, most of all, this wasn’t the right time to take on another challenge.

This is not a sad story or an admission that I’m giving up - quite the opposite. I am resilient and I have a drive and desire to learn and push on and accomplish something. I have to play to my strengths and it was time to look at what I possess rather than what I don't possess.

I started with my job, which isn’t perfect but it does have its advantages. I earn enough to cover the bills and it's conveniently located just a 4-minute bike ride or a 10-minute walk from where I live. Starting early allows me to finish early, so I'm always home when my son arrives from school. This gives me the time to prepare dinner, encourage him to do his homework and to take him to his sport’s clubs.

These are massive bonuses, as I love being at home and spending time with my son. Switching to a different job would mean missing out on these moments, and right now, I don't want to give that up. Currently, this arrangement is what's best for both my family and myself.

So, with that decision made, I needed to figure out my next step - what should I do and how should I do it? I have a hobby and I’m also at ease with learning as I go and adapting, which, I believe, is one of life’s most important skills.

I’ve had a long list of projects/ideas that I’ve been wanting to make a start on and bring to life. This presents me with a great opportunity to learn and grow as I turn these projects into reality.

I am currently working on the first of these projects. I have literally just launched the website about a week ago on my third attempt. It’s a community site dedicated to a specific topic that I hope people will contribute to and find useful.

I’m over a year late with this project and it has taken me that long to find a way - with my limited ability and knowledge to make it possible. I first started this project at the end of 2022 with the hope of having it up and running by early 2023 but that obviously didn’t happen.

As I mentioned earlier about adapting and finding ways to accomplish things despite limited ability - well, this project is a testament to that. I lack so many of the skills and knowledge needed to bring this project to life, but I had to find a way to make this happen.

The reason for the delay was due to me wanting to be a purist. I wanted to learn every aspect of the project and build and assemble every part of it myself. I finally realised that this was not the way to succeed. Had I continued with this approach (and the delay is mainly due to me taking this approach), I would still be working on this project into my 60s.

For that reason, I had to compromise. One day, I spoke to someone who asked me what I wanted to achieve, and I couldn’t answer. Essentially, I was asked: Why do I want to learn this stuff? Do I want to get a job from it? Am I doing it to accomplish something specific? Do I want to have a working model or build an MVP (minimum viable product)?

This was what I needed and certainly food for thought. I went home and thought about it for quite some time. Finally I was able to answer the question - I want an MVP. I want a working model to demonstrate the concept and test out the idea and get some feedback on how it works and whether it will prove to be useful. That's where I am now heading and that is what I am going to do.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am now devoting most of my time to this project. Even though I am using resources and shortcuts to achieve my goal, I am still learning so much and most importantly, I am enjoying it.

The benefits from this project should equip me with some of the essential skills I need for my next endeavour. I have a list of projects which are branch offs of this one and ones that are going to keep me busy for some time. I am as determined as ever to develop, build and market an idea that is a success. This is my new goal.

These are the reasons - or excuses - why I am not working in tech. I am comfortable where I am at the moment. I have an income and I also have an awesome hobby. I am around for the people that need me along with having some spare time to indulge in something that gets my brain working and my juices flowing.

Thanks for reading

LTCAF